-- Mary Manin Morrissey
Sitting at work today surrounded by screaming children and tired mothers, I had a simple revelation: being a great woman is uncomfortable. And scary. And that is why it makes you great and not just “eh”. I realized this in the midst of another dilemma that I’m sure a lot of people have faced. For the sake of the privacy of anyone involved I’ll just say that there was someone who had hurt me and this person was possibly going to be at a function that I was going to. At first I talked to a friend and sort of said if this person was going to be there I would like to know, because I would not be going then. For some reason after this statement I needed a lot of validation that I wasn’t just being silly or petty. My friend knowing the situation this person and I had been involved with backed me up, and was likely being sincere and genuine about it. But I knew something wasn’t right, it was that feeling you get when you just know. Not quite guilt but maybe guilt’s second cousin or neighbor. This was last night and on the way to work today I finally grasped that It is ridiculous for me to avoid something great because of who is going to be there. I haven’t seen this person since what happened, happened, but I know I can’t let the fear of the discomfort of seeing them rule my life, my schedule, or commitments to other people.
I knew that God would not be proud of me settling for comfort over growth and progress. Oddly enough I can remember praying in the last couple of weeks, and at the time really meaning it, that God give me more because I was ready for a challenge, something to shake my foundation. And as soon as it happened I shut down not ready for the unknown and put my training wheels back on. I have always loved the verse Jeremiah 29:11. It’s popular on letterman’s jackets and bumper stickers and the perfect advice for anyone struggling with the doubt that God has their back. I have read it numerous times and always taken in what it did say. It says that God has a plan and a purpose for me to prosper me and not to harm me. Lovely and warm and fuzzy, the snuggie of verses. I have not however, ever seen in it what it does not say. It does not say God has a comfortable safe plan for you, a plan with no bumps in the road or mountains to climb. Doing things that I don’t want to but should, will prosper me. Its scary stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing things that make me uneasy. But doing them is so empowering.
I should rest in the promise from God that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…not just things that feel okay and safe and not too challenging or that I’m really good at, ALL things. I would liken it to working out. There are definitely days when I do not want to work out but I do, thanks in most part to a wonderful musical collection on my iPod. I go and really give it my all (most days) and sometimes am so sore that I walk weird and have a hard time raising my arm to do my hair. It’s painful. But it is good. I am never regretful that I did something great for my body and even though it hurts temporarily it makes me a healthier, stronger woman. This is how I see doing what God has called me to. It’s hard, it can hurt but it is so good for us and produces growth in our lives. It leaves us with no regrets- I’ve never heard anyone say, “Man I really wish I wouldn’t have done what God has been calling me too” or “being wiser is just lame”. So I encourage you sisters, amazing daughters of an Awesome Lord, take off your training wheels and ride that bike off the smooth pavement and onto rocky roads. I promise you will never even miss them.
No comments:
Post a Comment